Insane in the Membrane

Like most athletes, I have a very meticulous way I approach my throws and during season, even the events leading up to competition are very routine; this is both good and bad. If everything falls into place and all the stars are in line, then I tend to have very good days, but if one thing falls out of wack, it could ruin everything. Remember last week when I said I couldn't find my rhythm in the ring? Well, a large part of that was due in part to the fact that I couldn't get the proper grip on the shot put out of the back of the ring and it was throwing off my whole throw. I mental visual every throw--in practice and competition, and when I'm in the back of the ring and if things don't physically line up with how I mapped them out mentally it seriously throws off every throw. I've been trying to get to the point where I get in the ring and just go so I don't have time to think about how odd things feel sometimes, but I haven't been successful yet, but it's something I'm still working on. I'm trying to get in and go because if I'm in the back of the ring too long, I have too long to start thinking and my mind starts thinking about all kinds of things. Throwing, and really any sport, is 50% physical 50% mental. I've got the physical, it's the mental I'm working on and it's something I've been working on since my sophomore year. I've gotten a lot better, but I'm not nearly where I want to be. My road to becoming a NCAA champion starts in my mind; I've already conjured up the thought, now it's time to buy into it. Right now, I'm fine. It's when the doubt and the quesitoning comes that I'm at risk of losing sight of why I came back this year. But, what I've come to realize is that sometimes I'm going to have bad meets and I'm not going to perform as well as I hope, but as long as I'm better than my competition on any given day, I'm still going to come out on top.

I'M BAAAAAACK!!!!!

Whoa!!! It's seriously been a whole month since I updated, sorry about that guys, but if you're wondering where I've been ask my professors. I spent the first couple of weeks this month TRYING to study for midterms and the last couple of weeks being depressed from my midterm grades. I definitely have had a rude awakening; this ain't undergrad. I might have studied twice as an undergrad; I applied my same "no-study" methods to grad school and my professors definitely showed me what was up. There's not a class I'm taking that I feel confident about. On the up and up though, I did pass my GRE!!! Yay!!!

As far as throwing, things aren't looking too good right now. I don't know why, but I can't find my rhythm in the ring. I would say one every eight actually feels right. I'm not really concerned though because I still have a long time before I need to peak and I feel confident that things will come around. The other girls are looking really good though, especially Mook (my apprentice, for lack of a better word). BUT, I'm really concerned for her. She started this year off really strong, but here latley she's been losing focus.

We're in college; we're gonna have some fun and do some things we'll never tell our kids, but our main focus should be getting an education and representing NSU track and field. I'm not really sure if all of my teammates understand that. I try not to say too much, but if things continue the way they are, I'm going to have to speak a little louder.

Aside from that, my personal life has been a little crazy. Cherie (my daughter) has strep throat and I've had to stay home with her the past two days, which made me miss a couple of days of practice, BUT I've been at home drilling, so when I get back to practice tomorrow I'll still be ready to go. I think this year, I'm really having to balance school, work and my family life. Last year was Cherie's first year with me in school and things went relativley smooth, but this year I must admit things are more of a struggle. She's more active, my schedule is more demanding and I think there's only 20 hours in a day now--that's how it feels atleast. I'm really struggling to get a hold on life right now. I'm seriously stressed.

But, God is going to make a way. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know there is a plan for me and there's no way I'm giving up. So with that being said . . . LEGGO!!!!!!!!! lol

TRACK SEASON!!!!

There's a familiar smell in the air . . .kind of smells like track season. The scent is still kind of faint because this is the first week of drills and what not, but I can definitely smell it. I got in the shot put ring for the first time since July; I was a little too excited. We haven't actually touched an implement, just doing some drills, but it's still exciting . . . sure beats running. lol jk jk Seriously though, I feel really good about this year. I think my body finally knows what a throw is supposed feel like. Drilling felt so natural. But, on the other side, I have to remember that drilling has always felt somewhat natural to me, it's what happens when I get an implement in my hand that's the problem. I can drill and drill and drill and do it perfectly, but for some reason, things always change when I put weight in my hand. I hope that by drilling a lot during fall training that my body locks in this technique and doesn't screw up things in the long run. lol We shall see. lol

To change gears a little bit, we got a new "thrower" today. He seems pretty cool, but he's never actually thrown before. Strange, right? I know, but he looks like he might actually be able to do a little something. I guess we'll see when he gets in the ring.

Well, that's really all I have for now.

I'm really trying to upload some videos and more pics on here so things aren't so blah, but for some reason my camera won't upload anything, so after I figure it out things will be more interesting.

Until next time . . .

It's Been A While; We've Got Some Catching Up To Do

Would you be surprised if I told you that last week I was ready to call it quits? Not my blog, but NSU track and field. I guess that would also mean giving up my blog, but that's relatively unimportant in the scheme of things. Anyways, this wasn't something that came out of the blue, it had actually been building up and by Friday I had just had enough. Seriously, out of the five days of practice last week, there wasn't one day where we (the throwers) had everybody either at practice or on time for practice. The fact that they weren't physically there didn't really bother me, it's what them not being there represents. Sure, track is an individual sport, but we have to combine our individual efforts to be a team. One of my goals this year is for the women's team to win a conference title (I mean it's only fitting considering conference is at home this year). But, how the heck can we expect to win anything when we can't even show up for freaking practice. What makes it worse is that I gave this long speech to the women about being accountable. Not only being accountable to themselves, but being accountable to the team. It's frustrating because I've put myself in a position to be a leader, but I can't lead if people don't follow. It's even more frustrating because I don't think anybody on the team is held accountable for anything they do. I think the coaches have gotten to a point where they are tired of trying. I try to set the best example that I can, but honestly some people just don't care and it pisses me off. It's reasons like this that have kept me from accepting this role in the past. I guess I'm just tired of all the b.s. on this team. But, I've calmed down since last week and I've decided, for my own selfish reasons, to keep at this thing. I mean, I can't be a NCAA Champ if I'm not on the team, right?



In other news, we're maxing in the weight room and testing some other skills this week. We did power cleans yesterday and I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I did get 225 yesterday Today we're doing the vertical jump and the 40 yard dash and later this week, we'll do the bench and the timed mile. I never did get around to running in preparation for that mile, so we'll see how things go. lol



I really need to studying instead of blogging considering I have a major test tonight and I take the GRE in tomorrow. Wish me luck. So, on that note, I'm gonna get dressed for practice and start studying again.



See Ya next week!!!!

O, by the way, my six weeks is up!!! My diet is over. In the process, I knocked off some of my baby fat and I lost 10 pounds!!! (Go me!) I've kind've pigged out this week, but I plan to pick back up my eating habits next week. Thanks for the support. Picutre coming soon.

This is so all over the place I can't even think of a title

I know. . .I know . . .I'm late on my update, for that I apologize, but I've kind've been busy. Well, not busy, more like tired. Track practice has been getting the best of me. I come home and I feel so nasty from sweating in the hot, humid Louisiana heat that all I want to do is shower and lay down. By the time I get motivated to do anything, it's time to go to be and I don't miss out on sleep. lol.

The past few days, I've really been trying to get to know the two freshman throwers. One of them, Shay, is still really quiet and reserved, but I have a feeling that she's gonna come around sooner or later. She really has no choice because she's gonna be spending a lot of time with us. The other one, KeKe, she's had no problem adapting to us. She's a character. She has the kind of confidence I wish all the girls had. She doesn't get wrapped up in what she knows somebody else can do; she's only worried about what she's gonna do. She wants to be the best, not the best right behind me, but the best!!! I love it!!! Her drive, drives me to better and I hope the others can feed off of her determination.

In other news, I'm still trying to come up with fundraising ideas! It's been like 2 months and I still don't have any good ideas. Ugh, it's so frustrating because I know there's money to be made!!!

An update on the diet. Things are not looking so good right now. This is week five and I've really let my guard down. For a while, we hadn't been grocery shopping and so I was just kind of eating what I could just really limiting my portion size, but today I had a total weak moment! I cheated so bad I'm thinking about not eating for week. Not really, but I probably had enough calories for a week. Burg, bought chips to go with chili dogs that we had for dinner last night, since I got out of class late and wouldn't be able to cook. Well let me tell ya. Today while I was sitting at home doing some work I pigged out them. Before I knew it I had eaten darn near half the bag--and I'm talking about the big bag. I think today was a reality check though. I'm back on pace and ready to give it 100%. I'm gonna hate to get on the scale tomorrow, but hey that's the harsh reality of my choices.

Signed . . . Sealed . . .Delivered

Let me start by apologizing for not having a new post up on Monday. For the past few days, I have been trying to include video on my blog post, but after waiting all day for the videos to upload I got an error message, so I'm holding off on those for now. Hopefully, I can find a format that will upload.

On to the good stuff . . .

The first day of team practice was this past Tuesday, which means this is officially the beginning of my senior season . . .my last season as a collegiate athlete. Wow. It's almost surreal because I'm excited to be a senior and I'm excited for what's to come in the season, but after this, I have some major life decisions to make. I'm not going to dwell on this though because I have time to figure this out. What's really important, is what I'm going to do this year. As you all know, I started this blog because I have promised myself, my coach, my family, friends and all my supporters that I will be bringing home a National title this year, but that's not the only thing I'm setting out to do. Last week, when I spoke to the team--which went well if I may say so myself--I asked each of the girls to write down their goal for this season . I challenged them, to put in writing, what others should expect from them in 2011. It's not enough just to show up and go through the motions. So, tonight I'm putting it out for everyone to see . . . here's what you can expect from me in 2011:

1. The 60/60 challenge. I plan to go 60 m (just under 200 ft) in the discus and 60 ft in the shot
2. Win a NCAA title in either the shot put or the discus . . .I would mind taking them both.
3. Sign a deal with some major athletic brand, so track can become my career.
4. Be a leader. I haven't always accepted this role, but I think I'm far overdue.

So, there it is . . .signed, sealed and delivered.

Still going strong!!!

It's week three guys and I'm still going strong with my diet!!! I don't even have the urge to eat the way I used to, and I can't remember the last time I had fast food--wait, I lie, I just had a buck double this weekend (so good), but that's okay because I was good throughout the entire week. And . . .I've lost two more pounds, so now I'm down a total of 5 pounds. Even though I wasn't trying to lose weight, the idea of getting down under the 200 mark is exciting. But, in general I feel better as a whole. Cleaning up my diet has made a huge change in my life. These three weeks alone have done so much for my body image. I can't wait to see what I look like at the end of week six; I might have a six pack and I'm actually thinking about making a lifestyle change, so that eating this way becomes a habit instead of a chore.

On another note, tomorrow is a big day; we have our first team meeting. I can't wait to see all the new faces. But, aside from that, I have asked Mike to address the team. I'm going to say a few words about my time at NSU and what I expect from myself and the team this year. I think for too long I have been passive because I didn't want to step on any ones toes, but this year I'm going to be the leader I should have been when I stepped on campus. I'm not going to let anyone slip through the cracks; everyone is going to have to be accountable, not only to them selves, but to their team. If it's one thing this team is missing, it's a sense of "team." Track is an individual sport, so it's kind of hard to have a team attitude, but no one person can win a conference or national team title alone. I excited for the year ahead; I hope what I say will leave a lasting impression on all the girls, both new and old.

Hello again!!!!!

Hola!!!! I know, I know it seems like forever since I last updated, but I think I've decided to start updating on a weekly basis instead of a daily basis to give you all a chance to miss me. No, but seriously, I am moving to weekly updates.

Enough of that, I've got good news!!!!! The first week of my diet has been a success!!!! The eating routine I set up has really helped me reduce my eating and random snacking. It seems like having defined eating times makes me find something to do other than eat. I'm actually finishing a project that was supposed to be done 3 months. It's kind of sad, but I kind of plan my day around the times I get to eat. None the less, I'm sticking to it. AND I lost 3 pounds!!!! go me. It might not seem like much, but that's huge to me. If by chance I get down below 200 pounds I'm going to flip!

In other news, school started back today! I'm excited because that mean that the next wave of greatness just came through. I'm excited for all the newcomers, but especially the female throwers. I don't want them to come to college feeling like they're at the bottom and they need to try to crawl to the top. Confidence is everything and if these girls come in with a winning attitude, we could have a dominating squad. I hate to say it, but at times, I know I can be intimidating, but I want them to know that I want them to be as successful as possible. I did a lot of growing in the 4 years I've been at NSU and if I can help any of the girls avoid some of the pot holes I hit along the way, then I think they'll be okay. College isn't like high school at all. In high school, you may only have one or two people in the entire city with some athletic talent, but college is like a rude awakening. For the most part, everyone on the collegiate level is a viable competitor. At my first collegiate meet, which by the way was at the University of Arkansas, I didn't even make it to finals with a throw that would've won a state title the previous year. Something like that can really break your confidence and quit possibly ruin your entire career; I know it seems a bit extreme, but it's true. So, I'm making it my responsibility to ensure that these girls don't surrender to intimidation.

TTYL

Day 1

Okay guys, just like I promised, I started my diet today! I decided that I would try to implement an eating schedule for 5 of the 7 days in a week. Monday thru Friday I'm going to be eating 3 snacks and three mini meals during the day and any time I get hungry, I'm just going to drink water. On the weekends, I'm going to be a little more relaxed on what I eat that way I won't get as tempted to eat poorly during the week; the weekends will be reward days for a job well done during the week. Like I said before, I'm not really looking to lose a ton of weight, I just want to slim down in the waist area. Since today was day one I did the honor of snapping this lovely picture-----------------------------------------------> which will be a reference point for my progress. Please notice how the shirt forms around my curves, especially around the love handles. lol By the end of the six weeks, I hope to have a smoother fit. And, just for fun, I went ahead and weighed in just to see how much weight I can actually lose during this six weeks. A lot of people wouldn't have the courage to do this, but like I said, it's about accountability. Today I weighed in at 207 (surprisingly, not the heaviest I've been). I would like to see myself back under the 200 pound mark, which I don't think is out of the question. Here soon, I'm going to incorporate walking into this plan because I can't run because of bad knees.

Today I actually did pretty good with controlling the urge to snack randomly. I did a little sampling while I was cooking, but it wasn't too bad. Here soon I plan to have a complete eating schedule written out, so choosing meal isn't as difficult. I'm excited to be taking this challenge and I can't wait to share the results with you all.

6 pack or bust

As promised, I will be starting a 6 week diet regimen now that I'm back from Dallas. I should have started this week, but because I haven't updated my blog in a while I decided to start next week so that you all will see each day of the diet. But, I need a little help. I don't really want to diet, but I do want to get on an eating plan, so do you guys have any suggesstions??? My plan is to drink lots and lots of water and then when I think I can't drink anymore, take another sip. My goal is not to necessary lose weight, but I want to get rid of this baby belly I've been holding on to since Cherie was born--I don't know that I can still call it a baby-belly at this point. I'll have official weigh-in on Monday and every day after that for six weeks I will update my weight and let you guys know how close to getting a six pack I am. lol

There comes a time . . .

There comes a time in life when no matter how much success, fame or money that you have, it still doesn't seem like enough. Sadly, I think I'm at that point and I don't even have any of the latter. Track and field is my life and if God says the same it will be my career, but I'm at a point where I want more out of life. I find myself thinking about marriage and children and just all kinds of things that I want, but I know the timing is all wrong. At a time when I should be foucused on nothing but track and furthering my education, I find myself getting distracted by my personal life. LUCKILY for me, I have a boyfriend who helps keep me grounded when my head is in the clouds. I don't know why, but I'm always thinking about the future: what will I be doing in 5 years? Where will I be in 5 years? I just can't sit back and wait for life to happen and I'm kind of tired of living the college life. I'm ready to start a career and move beyond Natchitoches. But, then I remember that I'm trying to be a National champ before I leave, I'm trying to set new conference, state and national records and I can't do that unless I'm totally focused. That's when it all starts to make sense again. Anybody close to me knows that I have really been struggling with the thought of going back to school this year for personal and financial reasons, but in the end it just makes sense. I'm trying to leave my "mark" before I move on.

COMMENTS

If anyone tried to leave a comment and was unable to, I apologize. I changed the comment settings, so now you all should be able to comment on my posts without signing in!!!! Thanks. I look forward to hearing what you all have to say and please feel free to ask as many questions as you would like.

Accountability

Hello, Hello, Hello!!! It's almost 2 a.m. and I'm not sleep, so I figured I better blog. :) I'm actually Dallas (this is that mini "vay-cay" I was talking about) right now because Cherie (my daughter) turned 5 today--well, really yesterday. Anyways, I have a confession to make. Today I almost skipped weights because of this trip. I hadn't packed or cleaned and I had to go to work twice today, so I thought about not working out, so I could get everything done that I needed to do. But then I stopped and thought. Was I really going to compromise my training because of poor planning on my part? I tried to justify it in my head by telling myself these workouts are voluntary and I don't have to go, which is true, but I made a promise to myself and to each of you. Again I'll say, "If I'm going to be the best, I have to train like the best." But, I am happy to report that I got my weights in today. I didn't get to get everything done before I left, but some of those other things can wait.

It's Motivation

Last year when Mike and I went to Iowa for the US Championships, we sat in the car for almost and hour talking about his coaching style and how uninspired I felt as an athlete. I started feeling like getting by was just good enough and nothing more was really expected of me. I guess that had a little something to do with why my season started to go down hill before it ever reached its peaked. I know people say you've got to challenge yourself and compete for yourself, but that doesn't work for everybody. I need to be pushed; I need to feel like I have something to prove, otherwise I'm just getting by. I mean, last year was crazy; I was getting more media coverage than the whole track team had seen since we had athletes go to the Olympics and it all really started to take a toll on me, which is why the conversation in the car started anyways--I wasn't feeling the pressure anymore. Well, since then, Mike has gotten a little better with trying to motivate me and get under my skin a little bit and I hope that when the season comes he really unleashes the beast. Today in the weight room, while I was working out, he said something that kind of pissed me off, which is why I came home to write this blog entry in the first place, but now I cant even remember what he said--must not have been that bad. But, aside from me, I want my entire team to be motivated. Individual awards are great, but before I leave NSU, which is this year, I want to know what it feels like to take a victory lap as a team and hold one finger in the sky proudly. I guess it's about motivation though, some have, some don't. I'm starting to find it within myself and I'm hoping I can help my teammates find it too. When I leave NSU, I'm going to leave a legacy--there's no doubt about that, but I want to leave more than just my name in the record books. I want to be the fuel that sparks a fire of greatness. I want athletes to show up at the big meets and be inspired to be greater than they have before. I haven't figured out how I'm going to do it, but it will be done. Who knows? This blog might be the match.

Schedule Preview!!!!

I'm so excited . . .just got a little preview of the 2011 track schedule and it's looking pretty good, gotta lot of big time meets on it. Just to give y'all a little preview: Texas A&M Invitational, Sooner Invitational, Texas Relays, Drake Relays,and did I mention we're hosting conference at home this year??? I'm getting excited just looking at it. There's about 20 meets listed; I plan to compete in half (give or take a few) of them. This is the first time I will ever do this and the reason being because last year I felt so burnt out at the end of the season that I lost some of the excitement. I hope reducing the amount of meets will help keep me focused.That's all for now!

Let me know if there's any subject y'all want me to discus and I'll be sure to include it in a blog!!! Thanks for reading!

Back at it!!!

Going to the weight room in a little bit--gotta stay ahead of my competition!!! My calfs still burn from last Thursday cuz I haven't worked them out in forever, which is kind of sad considering they are so important to a throw. But, as I mature as an athlete, I realize that I have to be willing to put in extra time to make sure I'm doing what I need to do to make sure I'm the best. Nobody can get in the ring and throw for me and if I really want to be the best, I need to train like the best. I used to try to rush out of the weight room and I hated giving up my summer to stay in Natchitoches to train, but now I wouldn't have it any other way. Losing gets old, especially when I know I'm the best. So in about an hour, I'm going to the weight room and take care of business. See you guys later!!!!

Fundraiser Ideas

This year, our team is going to try to fundraise a little more than we have in the past so we can go to some of the bigger meets this year, but we need some ideas. Can anybody offer any suggestions?

SN: Please, please feel free to comment on any of my posts and invite your friends to follow me!!!! Thx. I look forward to hearing from everyone!

If the camera adds 10lbs, how much will this barbeque add??? The 20 pound challenge!!!!!!

Since I started college I've put on close 25 pounds and Mike, my coach, has been telling me to diet and try to get my weight down, but my eating habits are so bad I've pretty much given up hope. I have a small addiction to fries and from time to time I like to enjoy a honey bun or 12. And since it's the summer time, we bbq every other day and today is no different. My boyfriend, LeBronte bka "Burger," and I are going to his parents' house in few to put some meat on the grill--this is probably one of the healthiest meals I'm going to eat. Yesteday I had a burger and fries from Checker's for lunch and chicken nuggets from Mc Donalds for dinner--good eating I know. I guess the reason I can't get this diet thing down is because I don't really care. I don't have body image issues and the girls I compete against are no light-weights. I'm not gonna lie, I could stand to do a few crunches. Seriously though, starting next week (I say next week cuz I'm going on a mini vacation this week)I'm going to start eating right so I can be healthier me and maybe lose some of this baby-weight I've been claiming for five years. Stay posted cuz I'm going to posting photos and updates of my progress. Let's see if I can drop 20 pounds.

Let the journey begin

I have been trying to get this blog together for several weeks now. Between computer problems and my busy schedule, I haven't had time to sit down and do it, but now I at least have it set up and can edit it as I go. It may seem like it's a little early to be talking about track season considering I just finished competing last month for the previous season, but this is the time that matters most. Right now, I'm in the weight room training 4 days a week because right now is when it counts. I'm finally giving my body time to rebuild from the injuries and strains of last season, but staying active so I don't fall behind the competition. Stay tuned as I give you an inside look at my training, personal life and love of all things track and field.